Let’s play a game.
Never have I ever had all of my chapsticks (a ton of chapsticks that I stash in useful places; my purse, the car, desk drawer, kitchen drawer, bathroom sink, next to my bed) all run out all at the same time. Never have I ever had a first date with a 38-year-old and spent the entire time conversing about the degradation of grammar and our shared hatred of voicemail. Never have I ever felt genuinely lonely.
All of that would have been true a month ago.